Category Archives: Writing widowhood

The joys of being a writers widow

Being a Writers Widow…..Oh God!…where is he!

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Coming down now...I won’t be long

Coming down now…I won’t be long

Hi folks, well it has been quite a while since I wrote my last blog, but here I am with again.

What does it really feel like to be a writer’s widow?

What would other wives say when they’d be in the kitchen preparing dinner whilst the husband  is upstairs typing, and as they are about to serve call up and say are you ready to eat? Coming down shortly is the reply. The next thing you hear is F…K  it !, d….m it, and a few other expletives, followed by a tap, tap, tap tap tap as the keyboard is nearly hammered into the ground.

At that point I  stay silent, since it is evident that things are not going as well as they should, and turn dinner down and hope he will  get things sorted soon. How do you spell consciencious comes the reply. What am I may I ask, a wife, or some kind of spell checker!

Ten minutes later I’d call up again. Are things sorted now?  I get quite a satisfied grunt and comment of ” yes getting there. Coming down now, I wont be long! ” .In that case I shall serve if that is the case I’d reply and loh and behold, if I’m lucky or simply dreaming, I hear footsteps and suddenly, his nibs,  the creator of the latest blog or story alias Christopher Neil appears.

Supper would be over and a request is made by the writer in question,

“Come up and see what you think, I personally like it, do you want me to read it out to you?”

Yes, please is the answer, so he’d read his latest work out and as he is reading it, I’d query something and in reply I’d get where do you mean. Show me. There comes a reply and I’d point my finger at the sentence in  question. No,  it’s staying I like as it is, it’s ok comes the reply.’ So why ask my opinion, and why ask me to traipse upstairs so as just ignore my views

How infuriating can you get….MEN!

Apart from that when you first start blogging there is that question of uncertainty as a writer’s widow. You do not know who your other half is writing to, but as is happening between the pair of us shows me messages from other people so that I know and we discuss things in detail before he posts a reply. This sort of an arrangement works quite well, as does his blogging day a Monday.

And then comes the question of bedtime.

Bedtime, a word muttered by the author. What’s that?

Be a live and warm the bed for me and I’ll be there in ten minutes.

Oh yes, thinks the writer’s widow to herself, ten minutes my derriere!

Five minutes later you hear music, laughter coming out of the “study” and an hour later you finally and half subconsciously you can hear him coming to bed.

About b….y time too you think, and then begin swearing even more as he plants his  cold feet all over you, but all least he’s in bed before midnight, just, so he is at least with you at the end of the day.

Even then you have to be careful, or at least be wary the next morning if he presents you with an early morning cup of coffee or tea. He has probably got up briefly in the morning already to record his latest inspirational idea, or whatever, but how would you react if someone presented you a mug of poorly mixed Garvey granules and milk at 4.0 am.

Such things are very good alarm calls, but at 4.0 a.m…..no way!

So there you have it, as you can see there are the two sides of the life of being a writer’s widow  as you  can see from the two blogs

A lonely life at times, but a worthwhile life and I  would not have it any other way.

Hope you enjoyed reading this latest blog of mine

Bye for now

Miki

P.S His nibs has just asked me whether or not a new charcrter of his is “right” for a new story. How the h…l do I know, what am I, psychic…MEN!

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Being a writers widow…how it all began ife, though, ito

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lifeHi all this is Miki back again.

This time round I would like to say a few words about my life as a writers wife or as he might say his widow.

For years and years and years we were both very lonely people who wanted to get on with life, and have the same sort of a relationship as every other couple has, but it seemed that this has passed us by. Suddenly when we were standing at the altar it all changed and a reassuring warm feeling came into my/our hearts. This is what we always wanted, here we are, and this is how we shall carry on no matter what……….

After the service, and at the end of the reception especially when we went for our first meal as  a married couple,  it all began to unravel in front of my eyes. It was both a happy and frightening feeling. The next day came the departure for the honeymoon, and for a moment in time my life jumped into a very dark area which I did not have any experience with, yet,as Julie Andrews sings in the Sound of Music, what is so fearsome about that. i had wanted to be in this position many years before this moment came, so what the hell was I so scared about.

Since than we have been together for over twenty years. Long time you might say, and believe you me folks, it has not always been easy.

Initially there was that settling down period, getting to know each other not only as good friends, and we enjoyed all the other things that make a good marriage. We learnet how to live together, laugh together, and give each other the space that any individual needs.

that is how to live together as man and wife and the ability to give one another the space that all of us need.

Life though, is a bugger at times, and it is hard for me to see Chris in a depressed state of mind especially when he had to face difficult decisions outside home.I dare say he feels the same about me and my epilepsy. Yet ever since he started writing, although tired, he seems more confident, assertive. The laughter is back and he is great to be with. To hear him typing upstairs when I am doing the cooking downstairs and  to hear him call out- come and have a look at this love and see what you think. When this happens it is a pleasure to come up with a cup of coffee, discuss it with him, and when he checks the hudl the next day, it is a lovely feeling when I hear him say 145 followers not bad. This in turn gives me a far more relaxed state of mind as regards him and his depression, and better health as regards my epilepsy and blood pressure. At the same time I feel more relaxed during intimate moments and Pilates, and all of this is making this marriage, richer, stronger and happier than before.

Well that is all for now and it is true to say that we must be doing something right as we have not had a row for the past however many years. If there are problems we discuss yes, argue no.

Well that is all for now. As there is a pussycat that needs feeding, as well as housework needs to be done. Hope you enjoyed reading it and will want to read more in future.

Bye bye for now.

Miki

p.s What do you make of the quote below; all I can say is yes, yes, and yes again!

What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he’s staring out of the window.

~Burton Rascoe