Monthly Archives: July 2014

Being a Writers Widow…..Oh God!…where is he!

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Coming down now...I won’t be long

Coming down now…I won’t be long

Hi folks, well it has been quite a while since I wrote my last blog, but here I am with again.

What does it really feel like to be a writer’s widow?

What would other wives say when they’d be in the kitchen preparing dinner whilst the husband  is upstairs typing, and as they are about to serve call up and say are you ready to eat? Coming down shortly is the reply. The next thing you hear is F…K  it !, d….m it, and a few other expletives, followed by a tap, tap, tap tap tap as the keyboard is nearly hammered into the ground.

At that point I  stay silent, since it is evident that things are not going as well as they should, and turn dinner down and hope he will  get things sorted soon. How do you spell consciencious comes the reply. What am I may I ask, a wife, or some kind of spell checker!

Ten minutes later I’d call up again. Are things sorted now?  I get quite a satisfied grunt and comment of ” yes getting there. Coming down now, I wont be long! ” .In that case I shall serve if that is the case I’d reply and loh and behold, if I’m lucky or simply dreaming, I hear footsteps and suddenly, his nibs,  the creator of the latest blog or story alias Christopher Neil appears.

Supper would be over and a request is made by the writer in question,

“Come up and see what you think, I personally like it, do you want me to read it out to you?”

Yes, please is the answer, so he’d read his latest work out and as he is reading it, I’d query something and in reply I’d get where do you mean. Show me. There comes a reply and I’d point my finger at the sentence in  question. No,  it’s staying I like as it is, it’s ok comes the reply.’ So why ask my opinion, and why ask me to traipse upstairs so as just ignore my views

How infuriating can you get….MEN!

Apart from that when you first start blogging there is that question of uncertainty as a writer’s widow. You do not know who your other half is writing to, but as is happening between the pair of us shows me messages from other people so that I know and we discuss things in detail before he posts a reply. This sort of an arrangement works quite well, as does his blogging day a Monday.

And then comes the question of bedtime.

Bedtime, a word muttered by the author. What’s that?

Be a live and warm the bed for me and I’ll be there in ten minutes.

Oh yes, thinks the writer’s widow to herself, ten minutes my derriere!

Five minutes later you hear music, laughter coming out of the “study” and an hour later you finally and half subconsciously you can hear him coming to bed.

About b….y time too you think, and then begin swearing even more as he plants his  cold feet all over you, but all least he’s in bed before midnight, just, so he is at least with you at the end of the day.

Even then you have to be careful, or at least be wary the next morning if he presents you with an early morning cup of coffee or tea. He has probably got up briefly in the morning already to record his latest inspirational idea, or whatever, but how would you react if someone presented you a mug of poorly mixed Garvey granules and milk at 4.0 am.

Such things are very good alarm calls, but at 4.0 a.m…..no way!

So there you have it, as you can see there are the two sides of the life of being a writer’s widow  as you  can see from the two blogs

A lonely life at times, but a worthwhile life and I  would not have it any other way.

Hope you enjoyed reading this latest blog of mine

Bye for now

Miki

P.S His nibs has just asked me whether or not a new charcrter of his is “right” for a new story. How the h…l do I know, what am I, psychic…MEN!

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Being a writers widow…how it all began ife, though, ito

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lifeHi all this is Miki back again.

This time round I would like to say a few words about my life as a writers wife or as he might say his widow.

For years and years and years we were both very lonely people who wanted to get on with life, and have the same sort of a relationship as every other couple has, but it seemed that this has passed us by. Suddenly when we were standing at the altar it all changed and a reassuring warm feeling came into my/our hearts. This is what we always wanted, here we are, and this is how we shall carry on no matter what……….

After the service, and at the end of the reception especially when we went for our first meal as  a married couple,  it all began to unravel in front of my eyes. It was both a happy and frightening feeling. The next day came the departure for the honeymoon, and for a moment in time my life jumped into a very dark area which I did not have any experience with, yet,as Julie Andrews sings in the Sound of Music, what is so fearsome about that. i had wanted to be in this position many years before this moment came, so what the hell was I so scared about.

Since than we have been together for over twenty years. Long time you might say, and believe you me folks, it has not always been easy.

Initially there was that settling down period, getting to know each other not only as good friends, and we enjoyed all the other things that make a good marriage. We learnet how to live together, laugh together, and give each other the space that any individual needs.

that is how to live together as man and wife and the ability to give one another the space that all of us need.

Life though, is a bugger at times, and it is hard for me to see Chris in a depressed state of mind especially when he had to face difficult decisions outside home.I dare say he feels the same about me and my epilepsy. Yet ever since he started writing, although tired, he seems more confident, assertive. The laughter is back and he is great to be with. To hear him typing upstairs when I am doing the cooking downstairs and  to hear him call out- come and have a look at this love and see what you think. When this happens it is a pleasure to come up with a cup of coffee, discuss it with him, and when he checks the hudl the next day, it is a lovely feeling when I hear him say 145 followers not bad. This in turn gives me a far more relaxed state of mind as regards him and his depression, and better health as regards my epilepsy and blood pressure. At the same time I feel more relaxed during intimate moments and Pilates, and all of this is making this marriage, richer, stronger and happier than before.

Well that is all for now and it is true to say that we must be doing something right as we have not had a row for the past however many years. If there are problems we discuss yes, argue no.

Well that is all for now. As there is a pussycat that needs feeding, as well as housework needs to be done. Hope you enjoyed reading it and will want to read more in future.

Bye bye for now.

Miki

p.s What do you make of the quote below; all I can say is yes, yes, and yes again!

What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he’s staring out of the window.

~Burton Rascoe

 

Adulthood…….The maidenish and lonely years.

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loneliness2Hi everyone.

Let us know embark on my hopes and dreams as an adult. Well, well, well up until the age of about twenty four I was a lonely young lady who lived with her parents, worked in libraries, studied for my B Tech. National in Public Administration and City and Guilds Library Assistant Certificate.

In my spare time, I used to go to dancing classes, youth hostel association meetings and weekends away, all this in the hope of finding my Prince Charming.

Apart from that my spare-time activities centered on taking Brownie Guide meetings, going to Pack Holidays with the girls and if I was not doing that being with my parents, going on holiday with them, going to church with them, attending various conferences to which they were invited as well as mixing with members of the Czech Community as well as being a dutiful daughter.

Suddenly one day I had an eye opener which came as a cold shower to me as there was not a boyfriend or a possible guy I wanted to have a relationship with in the picture. My best friend invited me to her wedding together with my parents. During the reception and after congratulating her and her new husband she said to me. Do not worry your turn will come. At that very moment in time I thought she was joking.

Shortly afterwards I went round to a friend’s house with whom I used to take Brownie meetings and there was a young lad aged about twenty six, lying on the floor studying algebra. At that moment in time it was quite hard to concentrate on what the Guider in Charge had to say and at that very moment in time I thought to myself, nice arse, that I would not mind being friends with him

About six months later there was a phone call, it was this young man again. During the conversation he said there is a lovely Concert in the Festival Hall Soon, would you like to come. Yes, Ok. I replied. It was a moonlit night, the Concert was lovely, my companion was well attired and long behold there was a feeling of deep friendship developing inside me. This friendship carried on for about two years on and off when suddenly he announced I am leaving London and am going to live in the Isle of Man. Oh my God! What am I going to do?

Never mind my darling said my long suffering mama, you cannot win them all. There are plenty of fish in the sea……. Hopefully anyway I replied.

Unbeknown to me some people I knew from the dancing classes organised a meeting with a guy who also used to enjoy dancing. This particular gentleman was of a Jewish Faith. The friendship between us developed and went on and off also for two years. It was during this time that me and the previous gentleman were on a break. Suddenly I arranged a trip to Mexico with a group of Guiders from the region. Unfortunately, we had a coach accident and shortly after coming home the second gentleman and myself have split up. This was another turmoil in my life. So I sat at home knitting and crying my eyes out.

There was another turn in the story. The first gentleman in question came down to London to see me. He took me out for a meal, took me out for a drink and generally kept me company. This lasted for about a week. Shortly afterwards he went back to the Isle of Man. It was the same summer that my late grandmother organized a meeting between me and a Czech gentleman. I came over to Prague and he came over to London. During this time we wrote letters to each other. Secretly, I was hoping and dreaming the first gentleman in question would contact me again.

My long suffering mama could sense how I was feeling and frequently repeated Out of sight, out of mind. As she was saying this I was still hoping. Life carried on as normal for the next five years. I was in London; he was on the Isle of Man. This carried on for the next three or four years. Suddenly a letter came. Just a neutral letter which was testing the water. I replied, he wrote, back I replied again, and then suddenly there was a phone call during which he said. Would you like to come over for a holiday? Yes please, was the answer it is a lovely place for a holiday. Is it alright if I stay with a friend? About two or three nights later he proposed to me and shortly afterwards during an intimate moment it was the first time somebody actually fancies me as a woman and is interested in me as such. It is a lovely feeling.

Well folks, it is time to finish the post and go down to have my tea and leave the rest for my next post. The life of a writer’s widow on the Isle of Man.

That is all folks

Bye bye for now

Miki

Hopes and dreams……. Teenage Years.

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Hopes and dreams……. Teenage Years.

 

dreamsHi folks welcome to part 2.

Of Blog entitled hopes and dreams. Well well well what a transformation. Something I would have never had dreamt of in the past. Most Czech girls would have finished their primary, secondary studies and led their lives in the Czech Republic, but not me.

Long was gone the dream of going to dancing classes, getting married at St. Vitus Cathedral, having a Krinolyn made for me for end of session balls and having a career same as everybody else

This particular dream has not materialized, for me my teenage years turned out to be completely different. In England it was a question of total transformation. Initially a land of Lyons Corner Houses, speaking in terms of pounds, shillings, and pence, and, oh my God, getting used to thinking in terms of yards, furlongs, ounces, miles, pounds(in terms of weight) as well as total and utter mishmash and dear Gods this was not all.

School, well, well, well.

Textbooks, what textbooks. Some kind of lettuce leaves bound in a folder, language center in a villa? Rather than in a proper school  building, going to my secondary school through a market, being taught by nuns, after school sitting in a car and working on my homework which was set that very day.

What about life outside school. Boys? Youth Clubs? Maybe for some other girls yes, but all I could do is dream of getting a boyfriend. For me it seemed to be being with my family, going to Guide meetings and on Camps , studying, going to Conferences and holidays with them. What was left there for me to do. All I could do was dream

That is all I can say about my teenage years, and the rest is for you to make of it what you like.

Hope you enjoyed the post and would look forward to my next one. Adult life.

That is all for now as dinner is ready to be served, but I hope you enjoy the video below. Who says kids are all bad these days, I wish I could sing as well as them!

Bye for now.

Miki

Aside

funny bears

HONEY!…HONEY!…I WANT HONEY!

Nearby where I live is a Nursery School which is called Hopes and Dreams, and when I am passing the nursery I often think what are Hopes and Dreams.

What do all of us dream about, and what are our hopes for the future as:- 0

1/children 2/teen and young adults

2/adults

I suspect there are as many varieties of hopes and dreams as there are grains of sand on a wave kissed beach, and that no two grains are the same, but why not begin with the hopes and dreams of children, what might we see there?

What are the young childs Hopes and Dreams?

The first thing that comes to mind are sweets, chocolates and being in their  mothers arms. Then comes the question of reading, and the ideas that go through a young child mind. Are they going to dress up in colourful costume,  and slay many  fiery dragon, or hope that, one day, their Prince will come?

I experienced these and similar hopes and dreams when I was in the kindergarten in my home town of Prague in the Czech Republic. My happiest times were sitting on an old green swing which was covered bya huge weeping willow.

What was I really dreaming about? To this day I do not really know.

Maybe about nature and all the different flowers I could see in the garden where the swing was. Maybe about lunch as I could smell a sweet smell of custard coming out of the kitchen where lunch was being prepared. Maybe about going to Primary School, what my school friends are going to be like, and what my school bag is going to be like . The other dreams all  of us had were at guide camp at a place called Odlezly. There was an inter-patrol / inter-six canoeing competition judged by Guider in Charge and her Deputy. Our dream was to come first, but sadly were beaten by a better, if somewhat annoying  team.

But were there other dreams and hopes apart from the above, and are they deeper, than the simpler dreams before?

The answer is yes, yes and yes again.

But such dreams are for my next post, as during my teenage years so much was to change.

I stIll say long live the dreams of childhood though, for if they are happy dreams, they support us over the years to come

Hope you like this post, will enjoy reading it and want to come back for more bye bye for now, but  I hope you enjoy the video below- do you ever dream of being a chiwawa!

Childhood Hope and dreams